im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
