I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
