Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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