THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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