Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
