...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
