Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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