You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
