You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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