Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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