3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
