The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
