Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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