you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my poor anus
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
