do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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