If i come over, it means nothing
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
