Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
