He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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