He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
