I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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