So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
