she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
