never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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