We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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