Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize