My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
