every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
