I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
