While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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