I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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