i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
