are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
