Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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