If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
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