I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
