Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize