he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
