Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
