WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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