we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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