I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
