Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
