Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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