He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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