if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
