Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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