I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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