Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
