Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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