He asked me if I "almost moaned"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
