we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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