I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
