You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
