I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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