he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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