Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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