i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize