ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
