I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
