why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
