I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Randomize
