if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize