All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
